Race Season Rules for the Road. (The Pleasure and Pain of the Porta Potty Visit)

Posted on April 30, 2013 by PattyRan

Now that race season is in full swing, I am presenting my first installment of Race Season Rules for the Road. Well, specifically, for what happens on the SIDE of the road. In the Porta Potties to be specific. There, I said it. Yes, the Porta Potties. (The modern version of what we used to call “Stink Peuw Houses” when I was a kid….you know-the fly infested Out Houses you’d use when camping?)

Oh yeah, there they are. Me first, please.

One thing I am aware of in public places is the consistent lack of hygiene in the public bathrooms. Germ-a-phobe that I am, I can’t tell you the number of times I have held my breath and cleaned up after someone, or forgone the pleasure of relieving myself in a public bathroom due to the unspeakable nastiness that I have found lurking in, on, and around public toilets.

When did mothers stop teaching their children to flush? If your child is too young to tend to themselves, then for the love of Mary, please assist them.

What the hell are people eating?

Why don’t they do that before they leave home?

RUNNERS!!!! PLEASE! Head my prayer! At group events and organized races, I know you LOVE your port-a-potties, but please pay attention to the Race Season Rules for the Road!. Porta Potties are put in place for everyone’s comfort and relief. Be courteous!

Leave unto others that which you would leave unto you.

If you sprinkle where you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat!

If you splat where you shat, please be kind, and clean up that!

OK, enough poetry.

God knows I refused to step into a Porta Potty until I became a runner. Though they are disgusting little sweat boxes, when I am running a race I have been known to thank the Almighty when I finally see one on the horizon, and fall to my knees weeping for joy when there isn’t a line waiting outside one. But how many times have you opened the door and wish you could poke your eyes out with your own ear buds, or wished you had a hazmat suit to don before entering? Time stands still as you weigh the decision: “Do I enter and close the door, or just keep running and hope I make it to the next one before shitting myself?” Am I the only one that cries when the hand sanitizer dispenser is empty? Yuk, don’t touch the door handle!!!

So here are my Race Season Rules for the Road:

If it FALLS out of you, is PULLED out of you, PROJECTILES out of you, RICOCHETS off of your running shorts, or otherwise leaves your body at rocket speed, PLEASE take a few precious seconds and clean it off the seat, back, floor and walls of the “John”. Whether it is snot, vomit, pee, poop, or blood, nobody wants to navigate around it when they too are desperate to make their OWN emergency deposit. Sure you might be on your way to a PR, but this is just rude and crude, and makes you a bad sports person.

As someone with Celiac Disease and the lovely gastrointestinal “issues” that go along with it, I am fully aware that there are many times when the body does things to us that we could never imagine, admit to, or ever want to remember. I am not criticizing those that are truly sick, in pain, or otherwise shouldn’t have eaten that last double chili bacon burger 2 hours before their marathon. All I’m saying is, please, please be aware that there are other people in the world besides you and they deserve a more sanitary place to potty. Thank you.

Stay tuned for my next installment of Race Season Rules for the Road in the coming weeks. Do you have pet peeves regarding runner etiquette? Care to share? Be well. See you at the starting line.

Not This time

Posted on April 21, 2013 by PattyRan

As I sit here digesting the news and reading about what’s happened all week in Boston, I am finally ready to write about Monday’s attack. The city of Boston was under lock down. Police, SWAT Teams, Military, Law Enforcement, and dozens of News Agencies were crawling all over the city. There was a massive manhunt for the second suspect in the horrific bombings at the Boston Marathon. Fortunately, he was caught and the city and world breathed a collective sigh of relief, at least for the moment.

I was not in Boston on Monday but many of my friends and fellow runners were there. Some of these people are very close to me, and some I have come to know through Facebook. Social Media is amazing Because of it, I have been introduced to people I never would have had the opportunity to know, and I feel Blessed because of these relationships.

All week I have been vacillating between anger, fear, extreme sadness, and hope. I have struggled with some of the PTSD that I suffered with after 9/11. There are people that will say this is not like 9/11, but for many people, it is very similar. Senseless violence against innocent people, no matter the number of casualties, is unthinkable.

After 9/11, there was a huge movement towards “closing your circle” of exposure. We have created layer upon layer of security systems to protect our privacy. We screen our calls, emails, online presence, Facebook posts and photos, and keep ourselves protected in many ways from the outside world. I became suspicious of everyone. I used to fear going in tall buildings, or driving across a bridge if I saw an airplane in the sky. Even now, if I am driving or running and I see a “suspicious package” or a backpack or box sitting alone on the side of a road, or in a building, I have a momentary feeling of fear-wondering if it is a bomb. Is this rational? Hell if I know.

But THIS time, I will not let this tragedy send me into a spiral. I will not let the Terrorists affect my life in a negative way. Of course I will grieve for the innocent lives lost and for those that will be forever affected. YES, I will pray for them and their families and loved ones, but I will commit to becoming a better person for the world around me, as my way of giving back.

There is a strong need in the world for people to reach out to others and get to know them. A simple smile and a “Hello” as you cross paths with someone on a sidewalk, can make someone’s day. I see a lot of people walking in the various neighborhoods where I run, so I have several opportunities to give them a warm smile and wish them a good day. I notice the young people-maybe 12-16 years old, that look serious, heads down, maybe dressed in baggy or trendy clothes, and seem sad or uncomfortable in their own skin. They try to avoid eye contact but lately, I make a point to look into their eyes, smile, and say “HI”. I have seen some of them transform their faces with huge smiles, and show a sense of appreciation and a little embarrassment that they were even noticed! I see the same one’s a few times a week, and we are starting to recognize each other, and they have even initiated the smile and hello. Our worlds are overlapping and it is a good thing.

There is a man that I call “My Amish Boyfriend“, that rides his bike near my house. I used to see him while I drove to work, before I started running. He wears a top hat, like an Amish man would wear, instead of a bike helmet, and he has a grey beard. I figure he is in his late 60’s or early 70’s. When I started running, I saw him all over the place at a certain time of the morning. After several times passing each other, we would nod and go our own way, then over time, we’d say a quick “hi”. Recently, when we see each other, it is a bigger smile and a nice comfortable, knowing “Hi” or “Good morning”. This week, on my run, I saw him mowing a lawn at a house nearby and I ran by him and waved. I was planning on turning around and doubling back at the end of his block, and just then I decided to stop and introduce myself. I did this because of Boston. I felt like my reaching out and making this small gesture to another human being, was important. So I stopped and walked up and introduced myself to John. He gave me a big smile and said that he sees me running all over the place. We chatted and I found out his brother had just run Boston and that he was “just fine”. What a small world. I bid him good day and continued my run, feeling on top of the world for having stopped. My “Amish boyfriend” now has a name, and I have a new friend.

This week I attended a memorial run for Boston that was organized by the Portland Triathlon Club. I would guess there were over a thousand runners of all abilities that showed up to publicly proclaim their support for the people involved in the tragedy. After a short but meaningful memorial service, we ran a loop around the waterfront in honor of Boston. It was inspiring to see such a turnout and see people of all ages running, walking, pushing strollers, and being supportive. At the finish line, the organizers set up a line of people, cheering on and “high five-ing” the runners as they completed the loop. It turned into a long “gauntlet” of sorts and the energy and enthusiasm for each and every person lifted everyone’s spirits tremendously. I felt completely connected. EVERYONE that passed through got a high five and thunderous applause from all those gathered. At one point, two very dirty, scruffy homeless men, one carrying a dog, approached the area where this was all taking place. They hesitated for a second, perhaps not knowing what was happening, and then, the crowd broke into another round of applause for THEM, and they both lit up. They smiled huge smiles, stood up straighter, and briskly walked through the tunnel of cheering, high five-ing runners, that patted them on the back and thanked them for being there.It was a beautiful moment.

These gestures, small or large, create incentives that can be the beginning of change. Change someone’s mood. Change someone’s attitude. Change someone’s heart. Change YOURSELF. In the past week, I have seen a different response to this National tragedy than in times past. Instead of cocooning and “pulling up the draw bridge”, I have seen people reach out and embrace each other. Strangers have started conversations with strangers in neighborhoods, airports, waterfronts. This is the power of good over evil. This is humanity elevating itself above fear, pettiness, and ignorance.

Runners and their families were attacked. Who are runners? Why this group? We are not political, controversial, powerful, or threatening. We are “everyman”. We are old, young, fast and slow. We are dedicated and committed to endure. We love community and celebrating each others’ achievements, no matter how large or small. We take care of each other. Period. The world just saw how much of a “family” runners and their supporters are. We love. Unconditionally and completely.

So, to all the Terrorists of the world, that have no regard or respect for human life, you will not defeat us. You will not cause us to live in fear. The city of Boston and all the cities of the world that supported the victims this week have proven this. You will not win. NOT THIS TIME.

It’s Raining Worms! (Or, OMG, I’m Running a Half Marathon in a Pacific Northwest Monsoon)

Posted on April 12, 2013 by PattyRan

Flickr photo,aur2899’s. It was raining too hard to take out my phone and snap a photo

Every once in a while, I check in with my sanity radar. Sometimes it is broken. Case in point: April 6, 2013, Yelm, Washington. Q.What could be better than driving 2.5 hours on a Friday night, getting lost while looking for the only hotel in the area, spending the night, and running in a cold downpour for slightly over 2 hours? A. Just about anything!!!

This particular race came to be after an extensive internet search of all the half marathons I could find within a reasonable driving distance, that would get me qualified for the Half Fanatics.

Becoming a Fanatic was of utmost importance to me BEFORE May 5th, 2013, because that is when the Tacoma City Marathon takes place. This is the tenth year anniversary of the Marathon Maniacs, and, well, you just HAVE to know who THEY are! There’s going to be a huge number of Maniacs and Fanatics, a party, special medals, and ….need I say more?

Last year I qualified for the Maniacs, after running two full marathons in two weeks. (Isn’t that why I got injured?) I signed up for the Tacoma Full, but with my recovery going slowly, I have to switch to the Half, or risk epic failure of mind, body, and soul. I have learned my lesson about pushing too far, too fast, too soon.

So my daughter Dede and I braved the ridiculous weather, and finished in a very legit time of 2:11:36. Not bad for my first comeback half! Did I mention that I ran the first 5 miles inside a huge black plastic garbage bag? I looked like a giant black Sponge Bob. I wouldn’t let anyone take my picture in that get up, so don’t expect evidence.

Here we are sitting in the car 50 feet from the start, staying warm and dry before the race

A soggy and cold finish

I will complete my second qualifying half marathon this Sunday in the Vernonia Half Marathon and Marathon. Then it is off to Tacoma for the party!

That’s my girl! Dede qualified today for Half Fanatics! (Notice the beautiful ring on her finger. She’s getting married in June!)

So here we are both qualifying for some crazy club, running in the rain, and questioning our sanity, when it dawned on me that this is exactly what I love and get giddy about with running.

There are challenges, pain, excitement, new friends, achievements, temporary failures, and successes, all in the name of fitness and fun. Running can so much more than lacing up your shoes and heading out the door for the drudgery of trying to stay in shape or loose a few pounds. 15 months ago, I was a solo “jogger”, just experimenting with the sport to see if I could make it a routine. Now I am the member of several running clubs and groups, I’ve run marathons, half marathons, a Ragnar 200 mile relay, numerous 5k’s and 10k’s, and made friends all over the country. I’ve even started blogging about it.

I plan on doing this nutty sport, with all it’s trappings for a very long time. I used to think I couldn’t run because:

1.) I have a bad back

2.) I don’t have the time

3.) It’s bad for women

4.) It’s too cold

5.) It rains too much here

…plus many other reasons, but none of them matter now, because it IS what I do. Through injury, recovery, bad weather, GI issues, fatigue, cold, heat, and snow, because I love the whole world that running has opened up to me. My fitness level has soared, my attitude is great, and I am getting stronger every week.

You might see yourself in my rantings, and I hope you do. I love hearing other people’s stories and learning what got them started and what motivates them to keep going. What goals have you set for this year? Mileage? Speed? A particular running event?

Whatever your goal is, you never know what you might find along the way. Who knows? It might even start raining worms on you one day!

6 Things That Make Running Enjoyable For Me (Well, at least LESS PAINFUL)

Posted on April 2, 2013 by PattyRan

It’s no secret that runners typically can endure numerous set backs, whether it be due to scheduling issues, mental meltdowns, unsupportive partners, or a myriad of other issues and injuries. Trust me, I am no stranger to all of the above. Be it GI issues linked to Celiac Disease, nagging Achilles Tendonitis, periodic Migraines, or a spouse that actually wants to see me once in a while, I have been through the wringer. None of this matters, however, because I am a RUNNER, and no matter what Mother Nature or Father Time, or hormonal imbalance throws at me, I will figure out how to get a run in-even it it means limping around all day afterwards.

I have a few people to blame for this addiction, AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I love you to death.

1.) Suzanne Kruse. I have mentioned this before, but it was Suzanne that unintentionally planted the marathon seed in my head in 2011. Suz ran her first marathon in the Fall of that year, and as I watched her complete that milestone, I made the decision to give it a try. Suzanne is a fasthole that just keeps on going no matter what. We haven’t run together in a while because she and I are trading injury woes right now, but we’ll push through them.

2.) Coach James Mattern, and Coach Jim’s Elite Runners in Training. (check it out on Facebook) Jim, you brought the world of group training to me, met with me one on one, and customized a plan that took me from beginning runner to Marathon runner and beyond. I love you for this, but DAMN, now I have another addiction! Jim ROCKS! looking forward to the Saturday morning long runs, and all the posts from attendees, keeps me on my toes, eager with anticipation, every week. Even when I was sidelined with my 3 month injury, I faithfully followed the team training posts and ran vicariously through all the smiling faces of the weekly runners.

The Ladies of the Honey Badger Elite Running Squad, are the one’s that sealed the deal to my membership in a spaztacular cultish love fest. Oh God, I’m in deep here. “Honey, stop the car, Patty’s gone to the other side.” HB’s are insanely intense, irresistible, and indescribable in their love of each other, of running, adventure, and of life itself. I don’t think there could possibly be another group of women (and one man-badger) that has the depth of core-support and accountability for each other than this club. We have a motto of “Leave no badger behind” and this rings true throughout the tough training, silly escapades, and while nursing one of it’s “Cobra” inflicted members through a tough time. Although I am not as fast or experienced as many of these ass kicking lunatics, I still know they have got my back, and I theirs.

Here is our logo. Yeah, we’re Bad Ass!

Suffice it to say, without these inspirational and supportive individuals and groups, I wouldn’t be running, and I certainly wouldn’t be blogging about running at this stage of my life. I know that on any given day, I can call on any of the above to keep me company on a run, give me advice, share my fears, tears, and joys, and most of all, a deep belly laugh.

Before I share the next three things that make running enjoyable for me, I have a confession to make. I have Schrek feet. Big, fat, gnarly, ugly ass feet. Bunions, toes shaped like light bulbs, and a very high instep…oh yeah, that Shrek’s got nothin’ on me. The scene in Cinderella where the ugly step sisters try to fit their honking feet into the glass slipper is a little too close to home for this gal.

If you fast forward to around 2:52, you can see what my usual shoe trying-on experience is like. Not pretty. (Although hilariously portrayed here!)

Because of this malady, the next three things that have me all warm and fuzzy right now are:

4.) My Correct Toes

5.) My new Brooks PureDrift shoes

6.) My new Smart Wool Toe Socks . My feet have never felt better. OOOH, just thinking about it makes me all giddy inside.

I have been wearing the Correct Toes for over a year, but rarely with shoes, because, well, they just don’t make a lot of cute shoes wide enough to add toe spreaders in them. Most running shoes are barely wide enough for me as well, so I couldn’t wear them while running either. According to Dr Ray McClanahan, my Podiatrist: “returning the feet to their natural shape eliminates existing foot problems and prevents new ones from arising. This is done using a Correct Toes spacer, which spreads the toes to their natural and correct position. This improves proprioception, which then allows the brain to better promote balance and optimal muscle function.”

All I know is that they make my feet feel wonderful, my bunion is getting smaller, and I am not having the sharp searing pains I used to have after approximately 4 miles of running. I bought the Smart Wool toe socks last week, and found that I could wear them WITH my Correct Toes, INSIDE my new Brooks PureDrift shoes. I have run over 20 miles in these shoes so far, and every day feels better than the last!

The Brooks shoes are a minimalist shoe with two split grooves that let your toes spread out. They are super light weight and feel delicious. A word of caution, though. If you haven’t run in a minimalist shoe or a zero drop, don’t jump right to this shoe from your full on stability shoe with a big heel to toe drop. I’ve been transitioning for about a year, and there’s no way I would have been able to run in these last year. Be kind to your feet and legs, and transition gradually. There are all sorts of conflicting reports on whether minimalist shoes are better or worse for you. I’ll stay out of that controversy and just say that for me, I am happy with them.

Lastly, my Smart Wool Toe Socks, are the coziest, cushiest, kissable socks I have ever worn. I love love love them. My massive toes feel so good tucked nicely inside them. They are the perfect thickness, don’t get too warm, and don’t bunch up or slide down when I run in them. I am hooked! I have tried other toe socks and have been so bummed by the fit, the bunching, and the sliding into the back of my shoe. THAT makes me a crazy woman. These stay put and are the absolute BOMB.

Here is what a happy post run Patty looks like:

Not exactly a Cover Girl, but happy to be running again.

My rehabilitation is coming along, with trial and error, and most RECENTLY, trial and SUCCESS. I am running my first half marathon since last year, and this will be the longest distance in 4 months, so I am a little freaked, but I’ve got the great advice from months of training with my Coach, the support of my friends and Honey Badgers, and I’ve got the first class foot package to keep my going. So if you are in Yelm, Washington this weekend, I’ll be running the first day of The Double Half.

What makes your runs enjoyable? Do you run alone or in groups? With or without music? I’d love to hear about it. Have a great week.

Pardon Me, But I’m RACING Here. Running Ettiquette: Rules of the Race

Posted on March 20, 2013 by PattyRan

It’s that time of year again. SPRING. Today marks the first day of Spring, and of course in the great Northwest, Spring has announced itself with the ever-traditional Monsoon storm of storms. We expect this here, just like we know that no matter how warm and beautiful our Octobers are, we can count on Halloween being just about the worst weather on record for the entire year. (We save a lot of money on kids’ costumes, and just dress them in raincoats and boots.) When you live here, you just have to know how to buy outerwear!

Happy Spring!

Spring also marks the beginning of race season. If you are into organized races, you are probably scouring the Internet sites that advertise your favorite distance, and planning your life around training schedules, race schedules, and, oh yeah,the occasional family time.

My Irish friend Suzanne and I after the 2012 Shamrock 15k. Cold, wet, shivering, and loving every minute of it.

Last Sunday was Portland’s annual Shamrock Run. It was NOT raining, which is pretty much a miracle, and myself and 35,000+ close friends and acquaintances thought it would be a good idea to dress like goof balls, and run anywhere from 5k to a 15k, shoulder to shoulder, in the “almost” freezing temperatures. To be honest, I almost bagged the whole thing.

As you may know, I have been crawling slowly, back from an injury like many athletes do, from time to time. No matter how positive I try to be, it really does SUCK. (How’s that for motivating?) Most of my running buddies were doing the 15k and that started at 7:40 am. MY race this year was the 5k, which started at 9:20. DISCLAIMER: Since I had to sign up early in the year for this one, and it ALWAYS sells out, I chose the shortest distance, since I didn’t know if my Physical Therapist was even going to clear me for running by this time. When I woke up on Sunday, I was sore from having run 10 miles the day before. This is the furthest I have run, since starting up again a few weeks ago. So, my self talk went something like this: “It’s cold out. Your friends are all gathering early for photos and you are still home in your jammies.” “Why bother going at all? You are running by yourself.” “Just bag it, you’re sore from yesterday”…..and so on. I almost didn’t go, and then at 8:30, I slapped myself and got dressed. It was definitely cold out, but it wasn’t raining, and I didn’t know if I would ever run the Shamrock again without rain.

Getting ready to start, in my “toned down” costume.

I never remember how crowed this race actually is until I try to line up in the corral:

I was pressing flesh with throngs of green clad crazies, all gussied up in and awaiting the start time. There was a great DJ getting everyone excited, live music, bag pipes-the works. It was festive, to say the least. I started smelling trouble however, when the DJ asked “Everybody that’s here to run the Shamrock for the very first time, raise your hands”. In a split second, I realized that I was surrounded by 12,000 people and just about 11,999 of them were here for the first time. Oh God, help me.

This was my view at the start. If you look really closely, you can almost see the actual starting line archway.

Purely for sanity reasons, I decided to try and wade my way to the front section of the line. This proved to be impossible, but I gave it a gallant attempt. They started the race in waves every 30-90 seconds, and it took about 20 minutes for my wave to cross the starting line. To say that I was running at that point would be a lie. It took several blocks before I did anything that even resembled running. Here is where the etiquette lesson starts. NEWBIES, pay attention:

First off, KNOW your abilities. For Heaven’s sake, you signed up for a 5k RUN, not a 5k WALK. (For the record, there was a 5k walk and a 1k “Leprechaun Lap” for kids 12 and under and their adult companions.) Some people get all excited and sign up for these things thinking they will train,but never get around to it. Here’s the thing: while this might be a fun event, when you are walking 3 blocks after the start, holding hands 3 across, in the middle of the road, and stopping to turn around and see who’s behind you, you are causing a hazard. Before I got to the 1/2 mile mark according to my Garmin, I saw 2 people that had collapsed from exhaustion. Seriously??? Know your abilities, people, and act accordingly.

Know how to dress. Most races have groups of people in costume. I do my best to look like the biggest idiot of the bunch, because I am an attention hog, but there are rules. (Well not really-but humor me here, ok?) I think Stacey and Clinton would have a hay day with this guy:Denim Cargo shorts? Really? I’ll bet THAT felt really good going up the hill! I saw lots of great costumes, as I always do, but I’m not that good with the camera while running and dodging people.

Honor the other runners’ race. Despite your own goals or lack thereof, most seasoned runners of all levels come to a race with some kind of goal in mind. Maybe it’s the first time they will run the distance without walking. Maybe it’s a celebratory race in honor of a loved one. Maybe they are trying to PR. It doesn’t matter, just make sure that YOU are aware of those around you. I can’t tell you how many times people stopped short right in front of me on Sunday. Then there’s the groups that HAVE to stay together and spread out across the whole street. My favorite is the family that decided to hold hands in the middle of the road and walk at mile 2.9, while most everyone else was just starting to pour it on for a strong finish. So here’s the deal: If you are struggling, (and most of us do at one time or another) pull yourself over to the side of the course, and get the heck out of the way. If you walk through a water station, GREAT! Just don’t walk back into the middle of the pack with your cup and then slowly start up again. MOVE OVER. Simple rules of the road will give your running mates and yourselves a positive experience, AND reduce the risk of injury and collisions. While I’m at it, here’s a very important suggestion. At the finish line, KEEP MOVING. (Am I shouting?) Holy mother of God, I hate it when runners stop and bunch up, and start hanging out at the finish line. Do your socializing, stretching, or throwing up on the sidelines out of the way of the other people barreling through the chute.

I had been struggling a little up the hill in the second mile, mostly because of my tired legs and lungs from the previous day’s run. The entire race, I was bobbing in and out of people, running in place several times looking for a clean break, and bouncing off people at other times. didn’t really have a time goal for the Shamrock, because I’m not a 5k runner by habit, and I just wanted to have some fun and get in a few miles. But, when I looked at my watch and realized that I would have a chance to finish in under 30 minutes, I turned it on. I know I can get a little competitive when I am not keeping a lid on it, and I might have yelled at a few people in that last 1/4 mile. “Get out of my way” “Comin’ Through”, and a few more not so nice things did find their way out of my mouth. (Oops. I’ll have to work on that.) In the end, I finished in 29:54, 16th out of 302 women in my age group. I’m happy with that. It was a great day and a great race.

I left right after running because I had to go to work so I missed all the Irish music, and the huge party, but I had a wonderful walk back to my car over the Hawthorne Bridge, and managed to avoid all the downtown traffic.

I took this while walking back to my car. I just love Portland mornings.

I hope you enjoy my blog. Share with your friends and let me know what you think. Rock on runners.

Miley Cyrus Gave Me a Gift

Posted on March 14, 2013 by PattyRan

I’m not a Miley Cyrus fan. I don’t pay any attention to her really, although I do know who Hanna Montana is, or was. But last Saturday, I got a wonderful gift from her! OK, so she didn’t actually send me anything, maybe it was nothing more than a “being in the right place at the right time” sort of thing.

So here’s the mystery: What do running uphill, Winter in Oregon, Exercise Induced Asthma, and Tendon tear recovery have to do with Miley Cyrus? Stay tuned my little chickies, and I will tell you.

Last Spring, on a training run with my Honey Badgers, we were running up what we call Cemetery Hill, for some lung splitting 45 degree hill training. Well, 45 degrees might be exaggerating, but, trust me, it was STEEP! Anyway, up we went, switchback after switchback, when all of a sudden, I heard this whistling sound coming from my heaving chest. Not knowing what it was, I kept going, but slowed way down and told my friends I would meet them at the top. Rose, a nurse, decided she was going to hang back with me. This was NOT because she too was struggling, mind you, but rather, because she didn’t want to have to keep looking back at me to evaluate at what point the CPR should commence.

I managed to make it to the top and continue the run with no other problems, and I brushed it off as early Spring allergies. A few weeks later, on another run with Coach Jim’s Elite Runners in Training, we were running up Mt Tabor, another steep run with several switchbacks, and it happened again. THIS time, I thought it was a panic attack, so I slowed way down, calmed down, and was able to recover and continue to the top and beyond. At this point, I developed a secret fear of running up steep hills.

When the wheezing returned a few more times I actually did contact my doctor, and low and behold, I have Exercise Induced Asthma, so I now have the pleasure of carrying ONE MORE THING with me along on my training runs.

My little friend “Sniffy”

Sniffy now travels with me to every run and workout, and manages the job of keeping me breathing, thank God, so now I have no excuse for wheezing up the hills, unless of course, I am in fact, having a panic attack. (If I ever write about my Ragnar Race, I’ll tell you about the Grand Mal of panic attacks at 1 am)

Two and a half weeks ago, I started with my running come back, after a long break due to injury. I’ve been logging some short miles, and Saturday was to be my longest yet, clocking in at just over 8 miles. As it turned out, my training group was going to be running Mt Tabor. My nemesis. THE HILL. ASTHMA. PANIC ATTACK. ACHILLES TENDON TEAR. Oh God, I stressed all week about this run. I showed up at 8am and met approximately 60 other brave souls out for anywhere between 8 and 20 miles in temperatures in the low 30’s. Portland runners are just amazing-there were people in shorts that day. I had my trusty layers on and my secret weapon, hand warmers, inside my gloves.We headed out in our respective pace groups, and I plodded along the first 2 miles of warm up, with Mt Tabor looming in the foreground. At mile 2.4, the climbing starts and within less than 1.4 miles, rises 400 feet. That might not sound so bad to some people, but it is a killer to someone new or newer to running, especially if you have psyched yourself out for it every time! Being the recently rehabbed runner who doesn’t want to end up with another 11 weeks off, I took it easy up the hill, and alternated running and walking during the steep parts. I wanted to regularly “check in” with my Achilles, and Peroneus, just to make sure I wasn’t hurting it again. I managed to scale the top,and circle around the summit, catching up with my pace group half way downhill, at the bathroom stop. At this point I was victorious. I had climbed Mt Tabor, I had survived it, and my foot and ankle felt just great. The rest of the run went superbly, and for the first time in months, I felt like I was coming back.

When I got to my car and headed to my office to shower and go to work, Miley Cyrus’s song, “The Climb” came on the radio. My radio station doesn’t usually play this song, so I was thinking, “Oh please, really? Miley Cyrus????” But then I started listening to the words and I started crying in the car. Before you dismiss me as being overly sentimental and emotional, let me explain.

I returned to running for the first time in 15 years, just 3 years ago at age 50. In late 2011, I decided to train for a half marathon, something I had never done before. By Fall of 2012, I ran 2 marathons, and other than incurring a stupid injury, felt like I had accomplished one of the most incredible things I had ever set out to achieve. Then I was sidelined. Stopped cold.

This is me recovering by our pool in Mexico.The swelling had gone down.

Recovery is not sweet or swift at my age. I am struggling with the comeback. Every run is a major challenge. I want to run another marathon, and I want it NOW. I obsess about the finish line. I long to run with my friends at a faster pace. I want MILES!!!! But for now, I can’t do those things. I have to take it easy and gradually build it up again. I can’t risk damaging my foot and ankle again, by doing too much, too soon.

So, when I heard this song on the radio, I thanked Miley for the gift of words. Her song is now on my ipod, which in itself is pretty funny, but I will sing it over and over again, while I journey back to 26.2.

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there’s a voice inside my head saying
“You’ll never reach it”

Every step I’m taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose

Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I’m not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
Lyrics from <a href=”http://www.elyrics.net”>eLyrics.net</a>

Finding a Rhythm in the Blues

Posted on February 28, 2013 by PattyRan

I’ve lost my rhythm, (and another toe nail, but that gives me great joy because it reminds me that even though I am not the runner I was last year, my body still thinks I am). It only took 10 weeks, but it is gone. I didn’t even realize how important it was until now. I’ll get it back, that a guarantee, but in the meantime it does kind of suck. Rhythm is paramount in distance running.

I signed up for the Tacoma City Marathon on May 5th, before my Physical Therapist gave me the green light to run. Anticipating that the race would fill up, I HAD to secure a spot. This is the 10th anniversary celebration of the Marathon Maniacs, and there’s no way I am going to miss THAT party. Now I have 9 1/2 weeks to be ready to run 26.2 miles, and the most I have run since mid December is 4 miles. Well, the other day I ran 2 in the morning and 4 in the afternoon, so I guess you could call it 6. Have I mentioned I am also a member of the Idiot’s Running Club?

My foot is healing nicely, and most days I don’t even have pain; that is until I run. I have a few twinges here and there. PT man says that’s ok, as long as it doesn’t hurt terribly the next day. I still wonder if I will ever run pain free again. I watch other runners effortlessly floating like gazelle down the streets and paths of Portland and I long for that blissful experience. Hell, at this point I long for a 6 miler! Now, more than ever I understand why runners panic if they take more than their “scheduled” day off. This whole “starting over” thing is the pits.

Last Fall, before I realized I was systematically ripping tendons and muscles in my left foot, I read an article about Bernard Lagat, an amazing Olympian runner and world record holder. This guy is FAST! He holds records in the 3000, 1500, and the mile. At 37 years old, he is still running and winning races. What I found interesting about him, outside of his achievements, was his training schedule off season.

Source

Apparently, when Bernard is not competing, he takes off 5 weeks and does nothing! I was shocked to read this! I remember thinking, “Wow, this guy is nuts. Who has the discipline and confidence to do that every year and then get back into race form to go on and break records? Well, he IS just a child at 37. (Yeah right) Anyway, I thought there was no way I would take time off between races. When you’ve trained for 5 months for a marathon, why slack off? You’re already THERE for crap’s sake, so just keep running, right? Well, maybe for some people but not for those of us too stupid to see the signs of injury.

So here I am re-reading the article about my couch potato buddy Bernard, and learning that he takes time to be lazy. He rests for 5 weeks and pigs out, gaining up to eight pounds. HA! Of course if I gained eight pounds, there’s be no living with me, so while I may have shifted my flab during this sabbatical, it hasn’t amounted to more than two or three pound weight gain. The Wall Street Journal article goes on to say that when he starts his training again:

“Lagat said it takes some time to work himself back into shape, but that is part of the process. A 30-minute jog on his first day back can leave him doubled over, short of breath. By week three, he can go for a 10-mile jog in 55 minutes. “I never push myself feeling like I should be in shape right away,” he said. “I know I have time.”

Now I know I have a friend in Bernard Lagat. For what it’s worth, I am trying to learn that I am not YET able to run a quick 10 miles before work whenever I want. My weekend “long” run might only be 5-6 miles this week. It might hurt. I might tire. I WILL curse. But I will continue to run, and like a good girl, I will ONLY push past the limits my PT gives me just a smidgen. Patience has never been one of my strong points. (see Patience from January 27,2013) I want it and I want it yesterday. Ho Hum. I will channel Bernard and all the other athletes that take time off due to shifts in training, injury, or personal preference. I will remember that it does take time to build endurance and muscle memory so that I can run injury free, strong, and with rhythm.

Besides the physical rhythm of running, or cadence, there is a rhythm of the mind that is a key component to distance running. If you can’t settle into a comfortable mental state while attempting 2-4 hours of running, then you are pretty much screwed. I had this NAILED last year. Now I am all over the place during my 30-45 minute runs. Getting this back will take some concentrated effort on my part. Maybe I need to switch to decaf.

The other rhythm that is a little off these days is my heart. I still don’t know what the scoop is, and I am waiting for the results of my recent 48 hour heart monitor test. Oh, that was fun. Check out the contraption I had to wear for two days. Can you just picture trying to hide that under clothes? And you can’t shower. I worked out three times while wearing this thing, and let me tell you, sponge baths are for the birds! So these days there are so many things that remind me of my age, and I’m getting really sick of it. Injuries, heart palpitations, grey hair, insomnia, and hot flashes can all kiss my ass.

I have been poked, pricked, and prodded, trying to keep this bod going, and a little bit of “distraction” will not stop me. I’ll plow through this momentary lapse and be back in no time running races in goofy costumes, and collecting finisher’s medals, because that’s what I do to keep my sanity and my dress size.

What have you done to overcome an injury and push through your mental challenges?

5 Do’s of Athletic Club Treadmill Etiquette

Posted on February 19, 2013 by PattyRan

Have you ever noticed how the treadmills and other aerobic fitness equipment is positioned so closely together in athletic clubs that at any given time an errant sweaty elbow might invade the space of the next door participant? It has been a few years since I had a membership at an athletic club, because I prefer to run and bike outside where I can breathe fresh air and have Mother Nature’s scenes unfold before me. Now that I am rehabbing my foot, I am supposed to do repetitive short spurts of running, mixed with walking, on a stable flat surface, so I have ventured back into the community gym. It didn’t take long before I remembered why I prefer the outdoors. I have come up with 5 do’s of athletic club treadmill etiquette.

1. Manage your space. Most clubs have a row of several treadmills along a wall, window, or other area where you can watch the goings on of TVs, people, or traffic. Unless you are superstitious or have a favorite one, DON’T mount the treadmill next to the ONLY other runner that happens to be working out. This is creepy. It messes with their rhythm and disrupts their concentration. Runners have all sorts of rituals and for most of us, if we are running on a treadmill, we are miserable. We only want to get it over with and any slight change in our little world will send us into a complete psychic breakdown.

2.Manage your volume. OK, it’s awesome and wonderful that you love Flo Rita, and I’m so happy that you’re a Wild One, but, seriously, keep it to yourself. Turn down your ipod. You are not the DJ of the day, sent here to cure me of my treadmill boredom by spinning your favorite tunes. And while I’m at it, DON”T sing along with your music maker! I might have to punch you.

3. Stop grunting. What’s with the people that think they need to grunt, moan, and otherwise make obscene noises while working out? It’s a treadmill buddy, NOT the International Weight Lifting Championships.I think if you are in that much pain, you shouldn’t be running so hard. See a doctor or something. Better yet, shut up and slow down. You are not impressing anyone.

4. Check your odor. It never ceases to amaze me how I manage to end up next to the person that has eaten nothing but onions and garlic, hasn’t washed their work out clothes in weeks, and didn’t shower after the previous night’s alcohol and sex marathon. Seriously! It’s earth shattering how disgustingly nauseated I get while trying to continue breathing while inhaling your vile, fetid stink. Here’s a suggestion: if you notice the posters on the walls starting to curl, and people around you turning away and dry heaving, take a quick sniff of yourself. Go to the locker room and at least take some soap and wash your arm pits. While your in there, check your “undies” to make sure you are not carrying around some extra surprises, and when all else fails, take your work out OUTSIDE. Next time, consider some good deodorant, and clean clothes. You are rude and inconsiderate!

5.Tread lightly. I often wonder about people that relentlessly stomp on treadmills. Why do they do that? What is the logic? The other day, I was next to this guy who made so much noise hammering away on that poor machine, that I thought he was going to break it. The whole room was shaking. (See #3 above. OF course, this type of runner also seems to be guilty of making every noise possible as if he is running for his life from the mob!) How does that feel? How’s your back? Don’t you hear yourself?

I hope to take my running outdoors permanently very soon. In the meantime, I will endure the claustrophobic challenges of using an indoor treadmill. If you happen to see me on one, my best advice is to steer clear. I am not happy here. I am not well. I may be prone to sudden outbursts of tears. I may start yelling at the machine and accusing the time clock of being broken. But take heart, I will be gone soon and you can have your safe haven back. Then you can stink, sing, sweat, groan, and slam all over the place without me.

Have a Heart (But Don’t Take Mine)

Posted on February 14, 2013 by PattyRan

On Valentine’s Day, hearts are everywhere. Chocolate mostly, although I did actually see a bacon heart this morning on Facebook. For the record, I think bacon smells good, but I would never eat it.

THIS is more like it.

Speaking of hearts, I had an interesting thing happen to mine this week. It’s funny how, when you are in your 50’s, you start thinking about keeping yourself on this planet a little longer, and paying attention to “little things”. When I was in my 20’s and 30’s, I never thought about stuff like blood pressure, pulse, cholesterol, and all those boring things old people talked about.

This past weekend, I was laying in bed and felt a strange sensation in my chest, like there was a fish flopping around in there. It lasted a few seconds and then stopped. A few minutes later, it happened again. Being the dutiful Catholic that I am, I said an Our Father, and an Act of Contrition, just in case I didn’t wake up in the morning. I didn’t really think I was having a heart attack, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. As it turned out, I did wake up, went about my day, and that was that. Until it happened two more times. Then once again, while watching TV the next night, that flounder was back in there, flopping around. I mentioned it to my husband, who, glued to the TV as usual, grunted something and held his blank stare at the flat screen. Deciding that I needed something to drink, I got up and wooohooo, the dizziness hit and I floated across the floor, like a drunk, all the while, watching the little stars blinking, and the blackness closing in. I managed not to pass out, and continued my evening of TV watching.

Just before bed, the old lady in me-the one that has turned into a hypochondriac, decided to email the doctor, just ‘cuz. I managed to wake up alive the next morning and received a call from the Dr’s office, telling me to come in today. Ho Hum. OK, sure, fine.

Fast forward to the appointment. My regular doctor was off that day, so I had the “pleasure” of seeing a first year intern. No offense to this guy but really? What, are you 12?

Doogie had the technician take my vitals sitting, standing, and laying down….three times. They did an EKG, and low and behold, aside from a First degree AV Block, which I already knew about from a previous EKG, there was nothing unusual or concerning. The doctor asked me if there had been any changes to my life recently that might be a contributing factor to these episodes. Normally at this stage of an exam, with my regular fantastic doctor, I would have had a chance to discuss what is going on in my life, the stress issues, my injury that has prevented me from running for 9 weeks, female issues, daughter getting married stress, how my big toe hurts, the migraine I had last week; you know-normal stuff. But this guy didn’t want to hear any of it. For some reason he decided he wanted to focus on how much I drink and what kind of drugs I take. I told him that I regularly enjoy a glass of wine at night and that can mean anywhere between 1 to 3 glasses, but that several weeks ago, after the holidays were over and I was taking hold of my senses again, I had curtailed my alcohol intake by about 80%. He then said that “Sometimes in people with such excessive alcohol consumption, withdrawal can cause these symtoms. I looked at him like he had three heads. Then he asked me what type of stimulants I was taking. This is when I started getting pissed. I sat up and looked him straight in his teenage eyes and said. “One or two cups of English Breakfast Tea per day.” He didn’t seem amused and asked me to hold my hands out in front of me. He wanted to see if I was having tremors. Now, I have a good a sense of humor as anyone, but this was not funny anymore. Who IS this guy? I attempted to “gently” explain to him that I am not a heavy drinker, I do not take ANY drugs or daily medications, I work out 5-6 days per week, currently swimming a mile or more per week, bike 30+ miles per week, PLUS work out at a kettlebell gym twice per week. When running, I routinely run 35-40 miles each week, AND I run my own successful business. I eat primarily vegetarian and seafood meals, and don’t eat a lot of junk, plus I drink somewhere between 30-60 ounces of water each day.

At this time he suggested that I wear a 30 day heart monitor so they can track whether or not I have recurring symtoms, and evaluate them. He left the room and asked the tech to do my vitals again…sitting, standing, and laying down. By now, I felt like I WAS going to have a heart attack. For the record, my blood pressure was something like 90/60 and my resting pulse was <60. It didn’t change much in the three times they checked. I had a feeling by now, however that they were going to be higher. (They weren’t)

While the tech was checking these things, she said the doctor wanted me to fill out a questionnaire, because apparently they thought I was crazy and suicidal.

After filling this out I asked the tech to go get the doctor and ask him if I could do a 48 hour heart monitor as opposed to the 30 day one. I was trying to imagine wearing this wirey, bulky contraption in the pool, or while swinging a kettlebel, while wearing my business clothes, or anything else for that matter. A short time later, the baby doc returns with a more mature, seasoned doctor, and I thought, “Thank God she’s here to change his diaper and let me go home.”

She started out just wonderful! She explained my AV block in such a way that I fully understood it, and also explained the symptoms I was having, and how they are very common, bla, bla, bla. Just as I was about to pull out my car keys and leave, she stopped, got all serious, and said, “But more importantly, I want to talk to you about your excessive alcohol abuse.” I really thought Ashton Kutcher would pop in at any moment with the “Punked” crew. I thought about arguing with her, but then she would probably think that was the alcoholic talking, so I just shut up and nodded. I had had enough. I guess they must have just had some kind of seminar on substance abuse and their reticular activators were on hyper alert!

I managed to leave there with a smidgen of dignity, WITHOUT the heart monitor, because they were out of stock, and went home. I vented my frustration with this experience to numerous people and went on with my life. I am waiting to speak with my regular doctor, to see if she wants me to wear the monitor. I will be a good girl and listen to her. I will not let prepubescent medical residents examine me in the future. I will continue to be an ADHD, running obsessed maniac. AND, I will find ways to manage my stress.

I think I will start with a nice Valentine Lobster dinner and a glass of La Crema Chardonnay

Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope it’s a good one. Take great care of your health.

What Snot to Love?

Posted on February 7, 2013 by PattyRan

I just love it when I am talking to someone and a bucket full of water and snot suddenly propels itself out of my nose. Now that I am swimming and training for a Sprint Triathlon, I am having flashbacks of my youth swim team and lifeguard training.

I am proud to have control over most of my bodily functions, but my “swimmer’s nose” just laughs at me and runs down my face at will. It’s one of the ways I am forced to be humble, I guess. Trust me, nothing says, “Consummate Professional”, like a spontaneous expulsion! If I were an Olympic swimmer, I’d be much more able to get away with it.

Poor Ian.

Oh well, back to me. So, now that I am training for my first Triathlon, I am spending two to three days working out in a pool. This increases the chance of my snot rocket surprises by up to 30% each week, for those of you that don’t have mad math skills. I am a very efficient swimmer. I know how to breathe in and out through my nose and mouth while swimming. So why does this happen, and what can be done about it? Experts vary on the reasons and remedies, but they all agree that irritants, allergies, and bacteria are among the common causes.

Germaphobe that I am, I shutter to think about what I am exactly ingesting while swimming in that community pool. I know people sweat, spit, and God knows what else in public pools, but I have always considered the chlorine (which of course is a poison) would take care of that. I recently read that Olympic swimmers admit to peeing in pools all the time. Nice. For the record I have never done this! You are safe to share a lane with me.

The good news is that, if I get all snotty while swimming or afterwards, at least I know that it is because I am working out. I am off my butt, making an effort to get this body moving, in any way that it can. It takes effort and dedication to convince yourself that it is a good idea to put on a bathing suit in the middle of winter when you are pasty white and it is cold, dark, and raining out, and drive yourself to a pool, so that you can take that first chilly plunge.

My advice? Get out there and do it. Swimming is one of the best ways to start or enhance your fitness routine. The first few days may be tough as you adjust to the water, the newness of your heart pounding, and the shortness of breath. In a few days, you will be amazed at how quickly your endurance improves. Just keep in mind that tissues should always be on hand. Or, buy a nose clip-I hear that can help.

See you in the deep end.

Running in Muck

Running Through What Life Throws At You